The Final (Rap) Entry...tear.

Yo saibaidee,

This is my last blog entry

I’ve got so much to say

Playing catch up...

While eating pizza with ketchup,

I’ve been living it up,

Realizing I only have a month left,

Everything in these lines

I’m trying to capture

And share the little things I’m experiencing

I’m trying to wrap my head around

What I’ll be taking away from my 10 months in Laos

I’ve traveled here and there

Exploring everything out there

I came here to learn and teach

Not necessarily here to preach

What I came here to learn

Is the Lao way of life

In the beginning of my journey here

I really had no connection,

With the country,

The culture,

Especially the people

I wasn’t sure how to act

Or make friends,

Scared and afraid of how people would perceive me

Now I find myself hanging out with Lao people all the time,

In the blazing hot weather,

While they wear their long sleeve sweater,

Chillaxing over thum mee,

Enjoying their loving company

In this land locked country,

Lao people like to eat, drink, and sleep,

Eat, drink, and sleep some more

And repeat this all over again,

In one day or more,

Lao people are so beautiful

Inside and out

Especially the ladies

Got my jaw dropping

Every time I pass them

In their traditional Lao sin

Ohhh...baby,

Be my girlfriend,

Maybe

My wife in the future

And then you’ll be in America with me

Actually I got crush on a particular Lao lady,

Is it taboo,

Or am I a fool

In this game of love

Or is it just puppy love

Well whatever it is

It just happened to happen

And I’m loving it

I got the chance

To understand

Or simply be aware

Of what the heart of a Lao lady needs,

Or actually of any lady

She just wants to have a man,

Who will truly love her

And only her

Love her,

Always and forever

Yeah,

Sure,

I love you

And only you,

Always and forever,

But the real truth to reality is

It is easier said than done,

There’s a young Lao lady,

She says she will never get married,

Be single forever,

When in fact

She’s just scared

To let herself to be loved

And to love again,

Cause she did before,

And she only got her heart-broken

The man only wanted

What he wanted in demand

So then he got married,

With different lady

Not giving enough respect

To her own demand

Wow, such a gentleman

And now she doesn’t want

To be hurt again

With that

I believe I understand

Her feelings and thoughts

To be a real gentleman

I have much respect for her

On where she stands

A lady like her

Should not be taken in demand

Then she said

If there is to be a next man

He must have a big heart

I turn around and asked her

What is a big heart

He must love me and only me

You would only know if he has a big heart

If you,

Yourself,

Is willing to open your heart,

Big enough to let him show you,

How big his heart is

Trust me,

If your heart isn’t big enough,

His heart isn’t going to be big as well,

A big heart

Is only as big as your heart will be

If you understand what I mean by this

You’ll know

And understand me

So

Small talk with Ms. Les-a-lisa,

Sharing our thoughts and feelings

Same, same but different experience

Oh so unique and beautiful

Here we are

Discovering more of who we are

I really truly found more of who I am

I’m just some Asian kid from Northeast Oklahoma man

Straight up eastside homies

A kid who could sweet talk his way of getting a fancy scholarship through an essay,

To teach English in a foreign country

Hitting quarter of a century this year,

Back on April 6, 2012

The big 2-5 years I am

Oh time sure flies,

So

Am I American

Am I Hmong

Or is it the other way around

Some people believe I’m Japanese

Or even Korean,

Matter of fact my ancestors are Chinese

There are times I think I have it hard

When in fact I have little to no clue to what is means to be living hard...

I ain’t got nothing compared to what my parents faced

They had to run away leaving their homes...

Literally fleeing through the jungles and swimming across the mother river in darkness

With guns shots in the background showing no kind of goodness

Drawing a deep connection to my soul and my spirit

I ask myself these 3 simple questions,

One,

What does the heart really need to live and survive,

Two,

What is my greatest fear in life,

And three,

What is my biggest desire in my life which I can and will never have

Alright then

You wanna play a game of life...

Here it is

Let’s see if you can truly answer these 3 questions to be able to understand

And draw a deep connection to the life of a man

Which is me

The young man that I am

Too much, so much, very much has happened...

I have been living it up these past few months

Realizing I’m going to be leaving soon...

June 29^th

Back to the US of A...

Excited I am,

But sad to say

That I’ll be leaving

Because I’ve been so happily enjoying the present moments given to me...

I want to stay...

Maybe even forever...

Why is it that I always find myself

Back here in this place

This part of the world

Having such a deep connection

I’m happy here

Why don’t I just stay here

What’s stopping me

What’s holding me back

Me,

Myself,

Who’s holding back

Scared,

Unsure of my future

But I keep telling myself

Not to worry so much

Just let it be and be free

You know what I mean

I’m afraid to be who I am...

To really be me...

But that’s ok...

At least I know this

And I’m willing and trying to overcome this fear....

I’m not perfect, but being imperfect is what makes me unique

These are some of the lessons I’ve learned,

Apart from the lessons I’ve been teaching in turned.

Thank you Laos,

I’ll be sure to come back again!

Jope!

P.S.
I'm back on Facebook...under John HuajVam Thoj or jht406@gmail.com
Keep in touch!

"Teaching Dialogue" with my students

So many of my students have asked me this question:

How can I learn/study English very well?

I actually do not answer this question right away, but ask them a question myself instead...

Before I answer your question, I want to ask you this question...

"What is something you are very good at or something you can do very well...like playing a certain sport, cooking, doing laundry, playing the guitar, etc.?"

So, some students have chosen playing football (aka soccer), playing the guitar, and drawing just to name a few.  Once they've decided on the one thing they are very good at, then I ask them...

"The very first time you played football, guitar, or drew....were you very good, so so, or not very good?"

Most of the time my students would reply...

"So, so or not very good."

"Ok, now the second time you played football, guitar, or drew...a little bit better...yes or no (as I use my thumb from the down position and slightly go up a little bit)?"

My students nod their heads...yes.

"Yes? Ok, now the third time...a little bit better?"

"Yes, ok...now fourth, fifth, sixth, etc.?"

"Always a little bit better each time right?"

"Now, do you practice football, guitar, or draw every day?"

Most of my students replied...

"Yes, everyday"...while some said..."Sometimes a few times a week"...

"Ok, good...NOW...do practice English every day?"

My students sat quietly as their faces turned red, hit a moment of AWE/REALIZATION and laughed.

I smiled very big at them and responded...

“OH, you see...there...you need to practice English like you practice a sport/draw/etc....always trying to improve yourself.  If you put the same amount of time you do playing football into learning English...I'm pretty sure you will learn English very well.”

So then I tell them my 3 steps to learning/studying English very well:

Step #1

Practice

Step #2

Practice

Step #3

More practice

Then I SMILE. =)

But in order to practice well...you must overcome these 3 things that I see Lao students struggle with:

#1

Being shy, you cannot be shy when learning any kind of language especially if you want to improve your speaking ability...you cannot just sit there and be quiet...it doesn't work that way...

#2

Being afraid to make mistakes and asking questions...if you do not make mistakes or ask questions, it only means you already know the knowledge and understand it or you are not challenged enough....the GREATEST LEARNING COMES FROM MAKING MISTAKES and ASKING QUESTIONS...you learn best when you make mistakes because you remember them and know not to do the same mistakes again...I mean even Teacher John makes mistakes all the time...make "making mistakes" a learning opportunity...and by asking questions...you get to clarify your understanding and find insightful knowledge...

#3

Being confident in yourself...many Lao students do not believe in themselves and their true potential...you are your own Master of Will as I stated in one my poems...you have to believe in yourself to do anything...saying, "Yes, I can learn English" instead of saying, "Teacher, I cannot learn English very well" because negative thinking only leads you to negative results...you have to think positively...YES, I CAN...this is the MOST IMPORTANT challenge I believe Lao students must overcome to be a successful English speaker!

Once you've learned to overcome these challenges...I TRULY BELIEVE YOU will learn/study English better than before!

If you know you are not learning English very well, understand why you are not learning English very well...identify your problem, understand it, and make a change...the teacher cannot change it...only you, yourself can...it has to come from within you first...then the teacher teach and facilitate the learning process with you.  This is how the learning experience begins and your confidence will only increase with each and every learning experience you put yourself into.

My philosophy is not to tell the answers to my students right away, but to facilitate and cultivate their curiosity to make them own their learning experience.  Take them step by step...in this case through a series of questions to allow them to understand the meaning of learning English very well and how to learn English very well.

Black Hearted but a BIG HEART =)

Black Hearted Teacher

Let me tell you,

Not to be mistaken with a fool,

I am a black-hearted man,

Whipping out his teaching plan,

Giving out zeroes left and right,

To those students who are not so bright,

When in fact they are,

I believe they can go so far,

They just lack the study skills,

To be their own Master of Will,

Cause all they know is how to cheat,

Living in a system which they dare not beat,

Am I too hard on my students,

I only want to be teaching them a life lesson,

So many students have told me, “Teacher jai dahm,”

Man-Le-L, tell me something I don’t already know,

Like how I am jai dahm,

The black-hearted person that I am,

It may seem I have no sympathy,

But believe me, I care for you all truly,

This is my way of teaching,

Not just some systematic way of lecturing,

My way is showing my feeling of caring and loving,

This is the source of my teaching and your learning.

The "CHEAT" Lesson

The Cheat Lesson

So here I am,

Listening to what my fellow ETAs have to say,

About their experience with students cheating,

They said, It is nothing but a soul beating,

Or that...its quite amusing,

To see the students not direction following,

When in fact the teacher bluntly preached about the meaning of cheating,

That is..."cheating" equals= ZERO (0)...a big fat zero,

Now hear me out

Example #1=Looking at the next person's paper,

STOP! Can't you see I'm standing right in front of you...I have TWO eyes TOO!

YEAH! UH!

Example #2=Opening up your book to look at notes,

COME ON, do you think you're really slick,

NO! UH!

Example #3=Whispering to your classmate about a question you don't understand,

HEY! HELLO, I'm your teacher. I made the test...ask me to explain so you can understand,

With all of this said and DONE,

This is what happened which is not cool,

I gave 33 ZEROS out of 35 in one class,

Oh yeah, I'm a bad man,

My students even called me a black heart man,

Lao Version, Ajaan John ben kun jai-dam,

Man-le-L, yes I am!

What can I say,

This is the cheating lesson you all must face.

I'M TEACHING...REALLY....I AM!!??YEAH!!!

Feeling of a Teaching Moment

Wow, today was great,

Not that I found a date,

But I was well prepared,

Teaching my own fair share,

My body not physically exhausted,

My mind not head-a-exhausted,

Dang it feels good,

To not be teaching from the book,

But to be teaching so my students understand,

Just lending my right-hand,

This is how it feels to reach a breakthrough,

I’m finally not a fool,

Not just me here to be preaching,

Modeling my own teaching,

Allowing my student to sing,

Spreading his or her wings,

To reach places they've never seen,

Or just seeing the places in between,

Whatever the case,

Time is sure not a waste,

I'm sure at my happy place,

Just here giving you a taste,

My life of a Lao-ETA.

BLAH!!!

A Moment of REALIZATION...BING...from teaching...

I do not know everything, but I do know somethings.  That is why we need each other because we each know something different that may bring a different perspective or insight and teach one another and each other something new and different...

there are days I wish I was not a teacher, but a student because I hate having the answers or the person who suppose to know the answers...I keep telling myself I must be a good teacher to my students because to have good students...they must have a good teacher...I, the teacher teach what and WHO I AM to my students....and my students become WHO I AM in them because they are a mire-reflection of me.

This teaching role is not easy and I want to thank all of my informal and formal teachers all throughout my life because I carry a little piece of your teaching and who you are in me...

A Dose of being a Teacher in Laos...

Yo...it's been too long so I'm going to get to the point...I'm changing it up and will be bring to you all a different take on my experience here in Laos....I'm bring you all my lyrical/poetic skills to my blog...with that said...here is a short rap I wrote while I was waiting for my students, but none came because of the local festivity that went on in the city that today...enjoy...

Teacher John's Rap #1

Written on November 9, 2011

In the classroom,

Chillin with the dust pan and broom,

Waiting for my students to come,

Hoping for some excitement and fun,

Writing out what's on mind,

Feeling that I'm wasting time,

     Am I just trying to bust-a-rhyme,

     Or thinking about someone so fine,

     I'm at a stop,

     I really don't know what's going to pop,

     Today I don't think my students will come,

     They all went to give alms, oh sounds like fun,

          What do I do,

          Wait here and be a crazy fool,

          I'm in such a mood,

          Telling who knows who,

          I'm in Laos being super fly,

          Always telling my students not to be shy!! =)